We raced home, started yelling Eli’s name from the street, took the stairs four at a time, and threw open the door. Eli was unharmed, looking sleepy and confused, and standing on the runner in the front hall. (Not on a debris pile.)
My eyes searched the apartment for damage. Then I found her:
She was already at a disadvantage because her enormous breasts barely fit into her chest cradle simultaneously, and she held no salt or pepper for ballast. They touch naturally in the middle, so one will always be off balance. The earthquake was just enough to send one toppling. Luckily the nipple and bellybutton rubies stayed secured.
Thanks to all who reached out to make sure we were alright. It will take some time, but I’m sure we’ll pull together.
-Rob
I gasped at the title of this post– then giggled through it. Thank god she– and you three– are okay!!!!