Car rides are like creepy milestones that occupy way too much of my memory bank. First dates, first fights, first kisses, first breakups, first breakthroughs.
I think we take for granted that as we get older, it becomes much less likely that we’ll spend time riding in a car with someone we don’t know very well. Seriously. It’s bizarre. But doing it every once in awhile is an immersive exercise in spatial awareness, self-awareness, conversation, and recognizing we’re still essentially teenagers on the inside.
On super dark nights in Vermont, driving through the woods of the Green Mountains gave you the feeling you were slicing through blackness on a rollercoaster holding only a flashlight. I can’t remember whether it was down by the Battenkill or up near Stratton, but the car climbed a hill so drastic the lines slithered and disappeared over its peak. My stomach dropped as it crested the top then barreled down the other side, the lines glowing again in the headlights.
The lyrics “Ride out the wave,” crooned out of the speakers and it felt like that average Thursday night was suddenly revealed as the night before a great battle. We weren’t holding hands, but that would have been the moment when he’d squeeze it in a moment of encouragement. Instead he said, “That’s all we gotta do. ‘Ride out the wave.'” Our stuff was all packed to move to Richmond and no one was sleeping very well. I think he meant the move, but I was thinking of something bigger, scarier, and further away than Virginia.
You had me holding on—another time and place.
Ride out the wave // bury yourself away
The one and only face.
Ride out the wave
That was nearly 6 years ago, in another lifetime. But no part of me ever expected smooth sailing. I’ve been in boats on horrible days—the ones in movies where they crawl onto the sand and kiss it. And though I sailed into storms way outside the realm of my imagination, I took his advice—even when he was the one who churned up the seas.
It feels so good to be back on solid ground.
-C.
[Deets for the cheap seats: M.i.H. Jeans cornflower dress + Joie sandals + Chan Luu rosary.]
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